On This Day, Two Years Ago…

11th April, 2016 was the day I last saw or spoke to my dad. I’d been mad at him for some reason and when I’d told him goodbye, I didn’t say it properly and expressing much affection. I didn’t realize that was the last I’d see of and say to my dad.

The story about what happened between my dad and myself is a long one and would eventually tell itself…

However, I just wish I got the chance to spend his last days with him. I wish I hadn’t told him a sour and unaffectionate goodbye. I wish that I’d hugged him and pecked him like I usually did when I was still very little. I wish that I had called him every single day while I was at the Leadership and Citizenship Training Centre. I wish I’d told him everyday how much I still loved him, even though things were visibly different between us. I wish I’d told him how much I wanted to make him proud of me and how much I still loved him and how much of a friend and role model I saw him as. I wish I’d told him how grateful I was for all the things he’d done for me; all the sacrifices he made for me; all the times he defended me and all the times he made me happy.

My dad was 72 when he passed on. He was healthy when I last saw him. He had struggled with a stroke for 14 years and finally died of a heart attack. I wish he lived a better life during his last days. I’d been striving to see to that… at least that gave me a purpose. Now I just don’t know anymore…

It’s unfortunate that I chose to call him just a little too late to hear his voice for the last time. The news of his demise was the most shocking, heart breaking and life changing news I have ever received in my entire life. The previous evening, I’d called to tell him about all my adventures at the CLTC, but he was already gone.

If there’s anything I want to do right now, it’s to relive 11th April, 2016. I’d do everything differently. I wouldn’t even attend the CLTP. Every single second I could have spent with my old man would have been much more worth more than what I would have gained from the CLTP. I’d give anything to spend more time with my dad and best friend.

(Your guess is correct; I’m totally tearing up as I write this)

Just an advice: If you love someone, use every second you have with that person to express that love. Do not let negative emotions or even people come between that love.

Starr